When I sit down to write a new post I always type, So, then I delete it because I think I can't start off a sentence that way but in reality that is always the way I want to lol. Sorry I do it everyday and laugh at myself so had to tell you that way maybe you can laugh to.
Anyway maybe luck was on my side yesterday. I sent the email. He replied. Talked about getting together sometime. He asked when. I gave him my number. He said he would call. So now just have to wait and see if he does. And you know if he doesn't it's ok because at least I put myself out there.
It's Friday and beautiful outside! I'm in such a good mood nothing is going to bring me down!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Luck Is On My Side
My horoscope for today said luck is on my side. With that in mind I have been throwing an idea around in my head today. I'm ready to go on my first "date" as a newly single girl, maybe not even a full fledged date but perhaps even just a lunch date. So last week at an office party I found a potential guy, Fire Guy, and him and I are friends on myspace (can't myspace be a wonderful thing). So I've been throwing around the idea of sending him an email on myspace. This could get the ball rolling and if it doesn't oh well. Right?
But the dilemma is what should I say in this potential email? I mean I know him but I don't know him that well..... And as you can tell from my personality I am a go-getter, grab-the-bull-by-the-horns type of girl. I mean really what do I have to lose? Nothing. What am I set to gain? A date or maybe just a new friend. I'm not looking for a relationship, I just want to go on a date. You know get back out there. But I don't really have time to go on a date - so yeah a lunch date would be good. So back to the email what should I send??? ..........................
Ok I left for a minute but I'm back and I did send a quick note saying hi. Now we'll have to wait and see if I get a response.
But the dilemma is what should I say in this potential email? I mean I know him but I don't know him that well..... And as you can tell from my personality I am a go-getter, grab-the-bull-by-the-horns type of girl. I mean really what do I have to lose? Nothing. What am I set to gain? A date or maybe just a new friend. I'm not looking for a relationship, I just want to go on a date. You know get back out there. But I don't really have time to go on a date - so yeah a lunch date would be good. So back to the email what should I send??? ..........................
Ok I left for a minute but I'm back and I did send a quick note saying hi. Now we'll have to wait and see if I get a response.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Life goes on...
...Long after the feeling of living is gone.
I seem to use that quote a lot lately. What happened? That wasn't me? Well, it was prior to college but since I have been out it is coming back to haunt me. I don't know why but it seems that nothing can possibly ever work out the way I want it to.
As a child and teen I wanted nothing more than to have the career and everything that went with it. I was ready to multi-task and take on the world. Nothing was going to stop me from being 'somebody' in the business world. While, as an adult things have changed. Now I want nothing more than relationships. I'm not necessarily saying of the romantic sort. I'm talking about the friendships we all need to survive. (Not that a bit of romance wouldn't be absoulely GREAT right now.)
Looking back at my past I see that I was so bent on making something of myself only because I had no one there to really be a friend. I didn't have those relationships. I never got close to anyone because I had lost someone I loved and thought that everyone I ever got close to would leave in the same way. I was young when this happened, but it burnt something into my soul--a wound that will never truly heal.
Now I have learned because of my wonderful friends that I need those relationships--I need people in my life. It isn't always about the number in your bank account or the title on your business card. Mind you, these things do not hurt. These things at times can only help your friends whether that is helping them to find a new job, taking them to a concert they otherwise couldn't afford, all of these things are made possible by a career.
It is just hard to find a happy medium.
Right now I am faced with a huge delima. If I turn back into that old person with goals that went to the moon then I am terrified that I will loose everything else that matters to me--and by that I mean the friendships I value most. Though, aren't those friends the ones who are supposed to stand by you through everything? They are, but I've been down that road with people I thought were true friends in the end--and when it came down to it they had moved on and I wasn't on their new path. Or, do I continue to value the friendships and allow what could be to pass me by? I'm not saying that my friends are not supportive, they are--but there is a difference there. I know that one day these friends are going to get married, have babies, and the single girl I am now won't be as welcome.
That takes me on to another area of interest. Family, my own family. Is that something I need? I am almost to the point that if it happens it happens, if not then once my friends move on to those stages in life listed above then I will just move on. Literally, pick up and move on and talk on the phone during those two a.m. feedings; while they are feeding there precious little ones I will just be walking home from the bar. Sounds sad, yes, I thought so too.
I really don't know what to think or do. There isn't just a fork in the road at this point there is a freakin' round-a-bout. I don't know if there is one answer to all of this.
Right now, YES--I do know exactly what I want. What I would be content with--but it isn't something that is easily obtained--nor do I think I would be respected for that decision. Which takes me on to why do I care what other people think? Though, that is a whole other topic of discussion.
I seem to use that quote a lot lately. What happened? That wasn't me? Well, it was prior to college but since I have been out it is coming back to haunt me. I don't know why but it seems that nothing can possibly ever work out the way I want it to.
As a child and teen I wanted nothing more than to have the career and everything that went with it. I was ready to multi-task and take on the world. Nothing was going to stop me from being 'somebody' in the business world. While, as an adult things have changed. Now I want nothing more than relationships. I'm not necessarily saying of the romantic sort. I'm talking about the friendships we all need to survive. (Not that a bit of romance wouldn't be absoulely GREAT right now.)
Looking back at my past I see that I was so bent on making something of myself only because I had no one there to really be a friend. I didn't have those relationships. I never got close to anyone because I had lost someone I loved and thought that everyone I ever got close to would leave in the same way. I was young when this happened, but it burnt something into my soul--a wound that will never truly heal.
Now I have learned because of my wonderful friends that I need those relationships--I need people in my life. It isn't always about the number in your bank account or the title on your business card. Mind you, these things do not hurt. These things at times can only help your friends whether that is helping them to find a new job, taking them to a concert they otherwise couldn't afford, all of these things are made possible by a career.
It is just hard to find a happy medium.
Right now I am faced with a huge delima. If I turn back into that old person with goals that went to the moon then I am terrified that I will loose everything else that matters to me--and by that I mean the friendships I value most. Though, aren't those friends the ones who are supposed to stand by you through everything? They are, but I've been down that road with people I thought were true friends in the end--and when it came down to it they had moved on and I wasn't on their new path. Or, do I continue to value the friendships and allow what could be to pass me by? I'm not saying that my friends are not supportive, they are--but there is a difference there. I know that one day these friends are going to get married, have babies, and the single girl I am now won't be as welcome.
That takes me on to another area of interest. Family, my own family. Is that something I need? I am almost to the point that if it happens it happens, if not then once my friends move on to those stages in life listed above then I will just move on. Literally, pick up and move on and talk on the phone during those two a.m. feedings; while they are feeding there precious little ones I will just be walking home from the bar. Sounds sad, yes, I thought so too.
I really don't know what to think or do. There isn't just a fork in the road at this point there is a freakin' round-a-bout. I don't know if there is one answer to all of this.
Right now, YES--I do know exactly what I want. What I would be content with--but it isn't something that is easily obtained--nor do I think I would be respected for that decision. Which takes me on to why do I care what other people think? Though, that is a whole other topic of discussion.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Why can't you just tell him to stop?
So that title has nothing to really do with anything that I care to write about at this moment, but it is the line from the current Lifetime Movie I am watching.
Yes, I am sitting here once again... I guess I could stand and type. But nah, I have something to say and sitting is much easier.
The work thing was last night. It was fine I suppose. Just another event. I took hundreds of photos, danced two dances the entire night, and put on that everything is great smile. Yeah, that smile that we all know too well. The one that we all use so that no one will ask the obvious question, 'why are you alone tonight?'
Well, because I am okay.
Let's see I excaped at one point towards the end of the night to go catch a glimpse of the race. I mean, I didn't get to go. You can't expect me not to make my way to the bar to see what is going on!
There were no hot single boys, the average age of attendees was at least 55 so fun times were had by all. Oh well!
So the end of the night came, I came out with six bottles of wine and centerpeices. Might even be the highlight. I called E and Blondie but they seemed to be fading fast, so I came on home. Well, wait--I tried to call the two friends I have in town just to see if they were up to anything or if they wanted to do something but no one answered. Oh wells. So then I came home, put the white wines in the fridge and brought the centerpeices in. Decided that crying would be a good idea, then finally passed out. Fun times.
Today was fine, sleep, Wal-Mart and a neice keept me somewhat busy. Though, every day seems to bring back a bit of my past. I see something that I think 'he' would enjoy or something that reminds me of what I have lost along the way. Not exactly the most fun a girl can have but when you have a little one snap you out of it because she see's Dora and Hannah Montana you tend to move on quickly.
Oh, and you can't tell him to stop because you want him so bad.
"It's hard to tell him no when I want him so bad But I've got to be true to my heart This time." Jo Dee Messina, A Man to Stand Beside Me
Yes, I am sitting here once again... I guess I could stand and type. But nah, I have something to say and sitting is much easier.
The work thing was last night. It was fine I suppose. Just another event. I took hundreds of photos, danced two dances the entire night, and put on that everything is great smile. Yeah, that smile that we all know too well. The one that we all use so that no one will ask the obvious question, 'why are you alone tonight?'
Well, because I am okay.
Let's see I excaped at one point towards the end of the night to go catch a glimpse of the race. I mean, I didn't get to go. You can't expect me not to make my way to the bar to see what is going on!
There were no hot single boys, the average age of attendees was at least 55 so fun times were had by all. Oh well!
So the end of the night came, I came out with six bottles of wine and centerpeices. Might even be the highlight. I called E and Blondie but they seemed to be fading fast, so I came on home. Well, wait--I tried to call the two friends I have in town just to see if they were up to anything or if they wanted to do something but no one answered. Oh wells. So then I came home, put the white wines in the fridge and brought the centerpeices in. Decided that crying would be a good idea, then finally passed out. Fun times.
Today was fine, sleep, Wal-Mart and a neice keept me somewhat busy. Though, every day seems to bring back a bit of my past. I see something that I think 'he' would enjoy or something that reminds me of what I have lost along the way. Not exactly the most fun a girl can have but when you have a little one snap you out of it because she see's Dora and Hannah Montana you tend to move on quickly.
Oh, and you can't tell him to stop because you want him so bad.
"It's hard to tell him no when I want him so bad But I've got to be true to my heart This time." Jo Dee Messina, A Man to Stand Beside Me
Friday, August 22, 2008
Sitting Alone
Ah, the life of a what if I do girl sucks.
I mean, honestly. I gave up my friends in one town for friends in another. Not exactly, but that is what it feels like right now. What exactly do I mean? Let me explain. I grew up where I work. Yeah, back to where I thought I'd never be. Anyways, I have a good job and that is what keeps me here right now. The economy isn't the greatest and if you have something you need to keep it. Well, this weekend I had to stay in my hometown because I have a fancy work thing that I must attend tomorrow night. So this Friday night I sit at home. I literally talk to two people total from what I like to call my past life.
After college I made great friends with people in North Georgia but by doing that I pretty much deleted my other friends from my life. I spend every weekend and every other moment I can in with these 'new' friends. I love them, they are the best friends I have ever had. And with that I mean that I wouldn't trade them for anything!!!
Now, here is the delima. Because I do spend every moment with the 'new' friends I have lost my old friends. When I am in my hometown on the weekends there is no one to see and nothing to do. Yes, there are two friends I still keep in touch with but they have their own 'weekend' lives and I don't fit into them. Yeah, I do live rather close to a metropolatain area, but is it worth it to be a 20-something who goes out alone. Doesn't that look desperate? Yeah, thought so. It also makes you feel worse about the entire situation. Oh well.
A little bit about the party. This is the same event that we have every year. Wahoo. I used to love formal parties but that is when we were all single and going together. May I please state how much it sucks to be the single girl at the party. Yeah. Last year someone was supposed to go but let's just say he is an ass and things didn't work out the way they were supposed to. (I may have to post a blog that I wrote about that when it happened later.) Anyways, this year I just didn't ask anyone. It isn't worth losing another friend because of it. Not that it would have happened that way. I guess I've realized that I don't have that great of guy friends--not ones that you could ask to something like that and that would actually not make an excuse. Yeah, you say that you don't know that until you try. Yeah right, I know.
On to greener pastures.
E and Blondie are having a good night it seems! Their texts are quite funny! :) I love them--crazy girls! Who knows, I may even end up hanging out with them after the party tomorrow night. It's not like I will have anything to do here.
I mean, honestly. I gave up my friends in one town for friends in another. Not exactly, but that is what it feels like right now. What exactly do I mean? Let me explain. I grew up where I work. Yeah, back to where I thought I'd never be. Anyways, I have a good job and that is what keeps me here right now. The economy isn't the greatest and if you have something you need to keep it. Well, this weekend I had to stay in my hometown because I have a fancy work thing that I must attend tomorrow night. So this Friday night I sit at home. I literally talk to two people total from what I like to call my past life.
After college I made great friends with people in North Georgia but by doing that I pretty much deleted my other friends from my life. I spend every weekend and every other moment I can in with these 'new' friends. I love them, they are the best friends I have ever had. And with that I mean that I wouldn't trade them for anything!!!
Now, here is the delima. Because I do spend every moment with the 'new' friends I have lost my old friends. When I am in my hometown on the weekends there is no one to see and nothing to do. Yes, there are two friends I still keep in touch with but they have their own 'weekend' lives and I don't fit into them. Yeah, I do live rather close to a metropolatain area, but is it worth it to be a 20-something who goes out alone. Doesn't that look desperate? Yeah, thought so. It also makes you feel worse about the entire situation. Oh well.
A little bit about the party. This is the same event that we have every year. Wahoo. I used to love formal parties but that is when we were all single and going together. May I please state how much it sucks to be the single girl at the party. Yeah. Last year someone was supposed to go but let's just say he is an ass and things didn't work out the way they were supposed to. (I may have to post a blog that I wrote about that when it happened later.) Anyways, this year I just didn't ask anyone. It isn't worth losing another friend because of it. Not that it would have happened that way. I guess I've realized that I don't have that great of guy friends--not ones that you could ask to something like that and that would actually not make an excuse. Yeah, you say that you don't know that until you try. Yeah right, I know.
On to greener pastures.
E and Blondie are having a good night it seems! Their texts are quite funny! :) I love them--crazy girls! Who knows, I may even end up hanging out with them after the party tomorrow night. It's not like I will have anything to do here.
Spice
I could really go for some spice in my life right about now. I sit here at work (been here an hour and half) and I am bored out of my effing mind! I am in dire need of a new job. I need something where at the end of the day I feel like I have accomplished something. Don't get me wrong I have a good job. But I didn't get a four year degree to answer the phone and take messages. Which I would be fine with if there was room for advancement or in my field of work. But this job has neither of those qualities.
Anyway back to spice. I need spice, flare, pizazz! I'm afraid in order to get those things I need to get out more. Which in order to do one must have money. And I have a house which equals mortgage payment, which equals no fun money. But that's ok at least I have a nice place to come home to. Hopefully this weekend has some excitement in store for me that I am not yet aware of.....
Anyway back to spice. I need spice, flare, pizazz! I'm afraid in order to get those things I need to get out more. Which in order to do one must have money. And I have a house which equals mortgage payment, which equals no fun money. But that's ok at least I have a nice place to come home to. Hopefully this weekend has some excitement in store for me that I am not yet aware of.....
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Life is a Highway
As I travel down this highway of life I feel like I've been riding in the fast lane doing about 80. I think I saw blue lights in my rear view a few miles back but I gassed it and managed to lose them. Now I think it's time I put on my blinker, change lanes, and set the cruise control on about 68. I'm watching the exit signs pass by looking for the one I'm supposed to take, but they all look Greek to me. I think it's about time I stop and buy a map and perhaps ask for directions. The only thing is I'm not quite sure where I'm going and how can I ask for directions if I don't know where I'm going? That's the problem with life sometimes. You know where you want to go, but one wrong turn and your off course. How many wrong turns have I made? 1? 2? 10? Or maybe 0? Huh who knows. Am I even on the right highway? Not sure but I think I see an exit for change up a head, that looks familiar. I decide to take that exit in hopes of finding a gas station that has maps, Dr. Pepper, Corn Nuts, and Take 5. I mean what's a road trip without snacks?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
What If It All Goes Right - Melissa Lawson
what if that road that you're taking's a dead end
What if love leaves you all jaded and broken
what if that limb breaks you're climbing out on
yeah, what if it all goes wrong
But, what if it all goes right
what if it all works out
what if the stars line up
and good luck rains down
what if you chase your dreams
and it changes your whole life
Yeah, what if it all goes right
What if that road is a beautiful slow drive
what if that love ends up lasting a life time
what if that limb holds you, oak tree strong
what if this time nothing goes wrong
what if it all goes right
what if it all works out
what if the stars line up
and good luck rains down
what if you chase your dreams
and it changes your whole life
Yeah, what if it all goes right
what if you climb to the mountain top
and touch the sky
grab a cloud as it passes by
you might fall you might fall
but then again you might fly
what if it all goes right
what if it all works out
what if the stars line up
and good luck rains down
what if you chase your dreams
and it changes your whole life
Yeah, what if it all goes right
What if love leaves you all jaded and broken
what if that limb breaks you're climbing out on
yeah, what if it all goes wrong
But, what if it all goes right
what if it all works out
what if the stars line up
and good luck rains down
what if you chase your dreams
and it changes your whole life
Yeah, what if it all goes right
What if that road is a beautiful slow drive
what if that love ends up lasting a life time
what if that limb holds you, oak tree strong
what if this time nothing goes wrong
what if it all goes right
what if it all works out
what if the stars line up
and good luck rains down
what if you chase your dreams
and it changes your whole life
Yeah, what if it all goes right
what if you climb to the mountain top
and touch the sky
grab a cloud as it passes by
you might fall you might fall
but then again you might fly
what if it all goes right
what if it all works out
what if the stars line up
and good luck rains down
what if you chase your dreams
and it changes your whole life
Yeah, what if it all goes right
The Game of Life
Today I sit at my desk and I'm in a pretty good mood. Why? Not sure. I just have a feeling things are going to start going my way soon. I mean hell they have to don't they? Once you hit rock bottom the only way you have to go is up. So I'm ready to go up, up, and away. I know your thinking, "yep E's finally lost it," or "E's drinking at work again." (~ And that was only one time and that was the bosses fault so you can't keep bringing it up.) But nope your wrong on both accounts I mean to lose it means that I at one time had it and I have never implied that! lol
But no seriously I have a feeling things are about to turn around. I am going to release my worries and try return to that free spirit I once was. The one that never worried about guys and the what if's that went along with them. I'm me and if they want to pursue me that's great but I will no longer be the pursuer - I said that know you have to help me stick to it!
Life is a game, we learn the rules as we go along. But what if we don't like the rules? Can we bend them to work for us? Why not! I pick up the dice and give them a throw.
But no seriously I have a feeling things are about to turn around. I am going to release my worries and try return to that free spirit I once was. The one that never worried about guys and the what if's that went along with them. I'm me and if they want to pursue me that's great but I will no longer be the pursuer - I said that know you have to help me stick to it!
Life is a game, we learn the rules as we go along. But what if we don't like the rules? Can we bend them to work for us? Why not! I pick up the dice and give them a throw.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Choices
I have to start off today with an apology. Each morning when I get to work I log on and post something on my other blog first. I then come to this blog as an after thought to discuss whatever is on my mind for that day. I feel by the time I get here I don't quite know what to say. I mean for this blog Vivi and myself have not established a set topic - it is just about our own personal What If's. Therefor I tend to let my mind wander. So I will strive to be more entertaining and post here first sometimes :) So on with today's topic of choices.....
Our lives our filled with choices all the way down to small everyday one's such as what to wear, to really big choices that will affect the rest of our lives. When the time comes to make those big choices will we be prepared? Will we ask for help? Advice? Or tackle them on our own? I have seemed to be faced with a lot of choices lately as I start over in life. Some choices I thought I would never have to face again.... like what to wear on a first date. But here I am, older? yes. Wiser? that's still up for debate. But one thing I have learned is I have great friends who will stand beside me no matter what choice I make. And at the end of the day friends are what matter most.
Our lives our filled with choices all the way down to small everyday one's such as what to wear, to really big choices that will affect the rest of our lives. When the time comes to make those big choices will we be prepared? Will we ask for help? Advice? Or tackle them on our own? I have seemed to be faced with a lot of choices lately as I start over in life. Some choices I thought I would never have to face again.... like what to wear on a first date. But here I am, older? yes. Wiser? that's still up for debate. But one thing I have learned is I have great friends who will stand beside me no matter what choice I make. And at the end of the day friends are what matter most.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Our Day Thus Far
So during the day while Vivi and myself are at work we tend to text or email back and forth during downtime. I thought today's email would be a good post for today. I thought it was good for a laugh. Of course names have been changed :)
From Vivi:
Texting is not working for me today so I thought I'd just e-mail ya.
He should have at least said something back last night. They are so freaking confusing! He had no right just to leave it hanging. (Can you tell I'm fixing to let my frustration out on him?) He should know that by doing that he is going to make it harder for you to ever trust him in the future... friends or more.
Now, as for why he didn't reply? It was rather lateish whenever you sent it. He could have went to sleep, been playing some sort of game or something. You know me, I always try to think the best. Sometimes that's hard though. Now, do you think I pushed too hard? WHY IS HE NOT REPLYING? It was sooo innocent too. Oh well, I just don't want to loose the friendship too. I mean, come on now. I'm NOT CRAZY. lol
So yeah, back to tourism and pr.
My Response in which Vivi replied under each number in green
1.Big - I agree he should have replied (today is day 1 of freeze out - see blog lol) but it wasn't that late it was only 10 last week when he sent me a message it was like 11. Next time we are alone I'm going to say something along the lines of benefits are great - the friends part needs some work - and this isn't a one way street. I mean if he wouldn't have replied the 1st time that would be one thing but why reply to one and not the next? Just pisses me off!!
Freeze you aye? Well good luck with that one. I know you better than that and I know him. I bet you get a message tomorrow night when we are doing girls night or something. Yep, leave it up to them to screw things up.
2.Don Juan ~ another pain in my ass! lol yes your text was innocent and he should have replied. He may have been busy at work. I think if you haven't talked to him by next week you need to send a msg saying you don't want to be like Clingy Chick and you don't want things to be weird and that you can still be friends without him freaking out that your trying to tie him down.
LOL, another pain? tell me about it. I just don't get it. Earlier in times when he wanted to do stuff he was all about it. Now when I send stuff--whatever. I will leave him alone and I will never bring up that I know how he felt about her but eventually I might have to stay that I want the friendship to keep going. I'm not saying that I want to hang out with him and some other girl on the weekends but we should still be able to be friends. Also, this is my weekend! LOL I feel like this is a custody thing. hahah not really, but two weeks? Come on now!
3. Blog - you started it ~ write on it! lol I can't keep up 2 on my own and if our lives don't get more interesting soon I'm going to have to start making up stuff! lol
I will but honey I just don't have time! I can't do it at work and when I get off I've been busy this week. Tonight is lions and merchants and packing... but I will try to come up with something interesting... even though my life is defiantly not interesting at this point.
4.Have a good day
You too! I'm going to have lunch with someone from ______ Power in a few.
5. Another quote that made me laugh:
Miranda: Who is this Amalita Amalfi character anyway? I'm concerned that you've been drafted into a ring of high-class hookers.
Carrie: She isn't a hooker. She's... she's like an international party girl.
Miranda: She's a hooker with a passport.
GREAT quote.. love that one. It is very true!!!
From Vivi:
Texting is not working for me today so I thought I'd just e-mail ya.
He should have at least said something back last night. They are so freaking confusing! He had no right just to leave it hanging. (Can you tell I'm fixing to let my frustration out on him?) He should know that by doing that he is going to make it harder for you to ever trust him in the future... friends or more.
Now, as for why he didn't reply? It was rather lateish whenever you sent it. He could have went to sleep, been playing some sort of game or something. You know me, I always try to think the best. Sometimes that's hard though. Now, do you think I pushed too hard? WHY IS HE NOT REPLYING? It was sooo innocent too. Oh well, I just don't want to loose the friendship too. I mean, come on now. I'm NOT CRAZY. lol
So yeah, back to tourism and pr.
My Response in which Vivi replied under each number in green
1.Big - I agree he should have replied (today is day 1 of freeze out - see blog lol) but it wasn't that late it was only 10 last week when he sent me a message it was like 11. Next time we are alone I'm going to say something along the lines of benefits are great - the friends part needs some work - and this isn't a one way street. I mean if he wouldn't have replied the 1st time that would be one thing but why reply to one and not the next? Just pisses me off!!
Freeze you aye? Well good luck with that one. I know you better than that and I know him. I bet you get a message tomorrow night when we are doing girls night or something. Yep, leave it up to them to screw things up.
2.Don Juan ~ another pain in my ass! lol yes your text was innocent and he should have replied. He may have been busy at work. I think if you haven't talked to him by next week you need to send a msg saying you don't want to be like Clingy Chick and you don't want things to be weird and that you can still be friends without him freaking out that your trying to tie him down.
LOL, another pain? tell me about it. I just don't get it. Earlier in times when he wanted to do stuff he was all about it. Now when I send stuff--whatever. I will leave him alone and I will never bring up that I know how he felt about her but eventually I might have to stay that I want the friendship to keep going. I'm not saying that I want to hang out with him and some other girl on the weekends but we should still be able to be friends. Also, this is my weekend! LOL I feel like this is a custody thing. hahah not really, but two weeks? Come on now!
3. Blog - you started it ~ write on it! lol I can't keep up 2 on my own and if our lives don't get more interesting soon I'm going to have to start making up stuff! lol
I will but honey I just don't have time! I can't do it at work and when I get off I've been busy this week. Tonight is lions and merchants and packing... but I will try to come up with something interesting... even though my life is defiantly not interesting at this point.
4.Have a good day
You too! I'm going to have lunch with someone from ______ Power in a few.
5. Another quote that made me laugh:
Miranda: Who is this Amalita Amalfi character anyway? I'm concerned that you've been drafted into a ring of high-class hookers.
Carrie: She isn't a hooker. She's... she's like an international party girl.
Miranda: She's a hooker with a passport.
GREAT quote.. love that one. It is very true!!!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Did I Shave My Legs For This????
Ok this post is to rant a little about the temperature in the workplace. I mean how many others like myself take a jacket to work even though it is 90 degrees outside?! When I walk into my office in the morning I feel like I am walking into a refrigerator. I mean come on people cool and freezing are two different things! Did I shave my legs for this? I mean really I shaved this morning and now with 20 minutes to go till lunch you can't even tell. What's the point really? lol
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Secrets
This morning as I'm getting ready for work a Tivo'd episode of Sex and the City plays in the background. I'm going along with my routine and not really paying attention. But then the question Carrie asks herself catches my attention, "How many of us are having great sex with people we're ashamed to introduce to our friends?"
Hhhhmmmm interesting question. I can say that perhaps ashamed is not always the case but perhaps timing. Recently split with someone else therefor to soon to introduce the new guy. Or perhaps he dated a mutaul friend not that long ago. Or maybe some things are best kept secret?
As I have found to be more true here recently - everyone has their secrets.
Hhhhmmmm interesting question. I can say that perhaps ashamed is not always the case but perhaps timing. Recently split with someone else therefor to soon to introduce the new guy. Or perhaps he dated a mutaul friend not that long ago. Or maybe some things are best kept secret?
As I have found to be more true here recently - everyone has their secrets.
Friday, August 8, 2008
The Art of Texting
Texting. It's popular. It's quick. It's convenient. It can be personal or it can be impersonal depending on the person. And most importantly it's easy. Easy in the sense that once you hit send the message is gone. For example there's this guy (I mean isn't there always) that the thought of calling him terrifies me! But texting? Oh texting is another story. I can write something and send it and not feel nervous at all. Why is that? Is it because it's less personal?
And perhaps less rejection..... if he doesn't answer the call you ask your self a million "what if's" but a text if you do not receive a reply isn't almost like you never sent it? lol Crazy logic.... yes, welcome to my world.
And perhaps less rejection..... if he doesn't answer the call you ask your self a million "what if's" but a text if you do not receive a reply isn't almost like you never sent it? lol Crazy logic.... yes, welcome to my world.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Morning Fix
I have decided everyday each one of us asks ourselves "what if" about something. This morning for example I rolled out of bed to the demands coming from my ten week old Jack Russell Terror who can only be labeled as Hyper. She was intent on informing me that morning had arrived and she needed to go outside. So in a still-half-asleep stupor I took her outside and like a zombie waited for her to be done then went into the house and straight for the fridge. I am not a coffee drinker but I still need a morning pick-me-up. And my drug of choice is Dr.Pepper.
I open the fridge and the shelf is bare. I feel like a Looney Tunes cartoon as I'm sure my eyes popped out of my head and then a choice curse word slipped out under my breath. So I grabbed a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with water and walked away feeling unsatisfied.
So on the way to work I decided I need my morning hit. What if I stop at the gas station on the way to work, will I still make it in time? I convince myself I may be cutting it close but I can make it. I sit at the red light impatiently pleading with it to turn green. I happen to glance up into my rear-view mirror and see my boss's truck two cars back. I glance at the clock again. I don't want to be late, I mean this is only my second week at this new job so I would like to get in before the boss. The light changes and my mind is made up I need the Dr. Pepper.
I open the fridge and the shelf is bare. I feel like a Looney Tunes cartoon as I'm sure my eyes popped out of my head and then a choice curse word slipped out under my breath. So I grabbed a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with water and walked away feeling unsatisfied.
So on the way to work I decided I need my morning hit. What if I stop at the gas station on the way to work, will I still make it in time? I convince myself I may be cutting it close but I can make it. I sit at the red light impatiently pleading with it to turn green. I happen to glance up into my rear-view mirror and see my boss's truck two cars back. I glance at the clock again. I don't want to be late, I mean this is only my second week at this new job so I would like to get in before the boss. The light changes and my mind is made up I need the Dr. Pepper.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Looking back thru old texts, never a good thing
So today I learned that sometimes you get a new cell phone for a reason.
An unfortunate accident including a pedicure and a submerged cell phone occured yesterday as I was trying my best to relax. That all went to hell in a hand basket fast. I had one of those, what if I miss a text? What is I miss HIS text? He never calls. SHIT!
So, needless to say I searched high and low for that ancient p.o.s. I used almost two years ago then searched even more aggressively for the stupid @ss charger that went to it. After a few choice words and several layers of dust both items were found. Then came the interesting 'what was I thinking' part.
Sit by the charger while the phone comes on, have the lines changed. Don't miss a message. Fair enough right? Oh no, never for me.
I decided to just look through the texts to see what might be on there. Plenty. One message says, "Wake up" while the next says "I want your cups in my face." Now, you have to understand that these messages are from someone I had rather forget ever even thought about these things much less had the balls to send those messages to me thinking I would respond in the way he wanted. Don't get me wrong, he was a nice guy but I honestly don't know what I was thinking. Thinking that maybe things would be different? Yeah right. I was still a good girl at that point.
Well, the messages go downhill from there. Things I won't post even on a blog that is anonymous.
What else did I find? Enough to know that I would save this phone forever--just for giggles. This time I will make sure to put the charger in the box before I bury it.
An unfortunate accident including a pedicure and a submerged cell phone occured yesterday as I was trying my best to relax. That all went to hell in a hand basket fast. I had one of those, what if I miss a text? What is I miss HIS text? He never calls. SHIT!
So, needless to say I searched high and low for that ancient p.o.s. I used almost two years ago then searched even more aggressively for the stupid @ss charger that went to it. After a few choice words and several layers of dust both items were found. Then came the interesting 'what was I thinking' part.
Sit by the charger while the phone comes on, have the lines changed. Don't miss a message. Fair enough right? Oh no, never for me.
I decided to just look through the texts to see what might be on there. Plenty. One message says, "Wake up" while the next says "I want your cups in my face." Now, you have to understand that these messages are from someone I had rather forget ever even thought about these things much less had the balls to send those messages to me thinking I would respond in the way he wanted. Don't get me wrong, he was a nice guy but I honestly don't know what I was thinking. Thinking that maybe things would be different? Yeah right. I was still a good girl at that point.
Well, the messages go downhill from there. Things I won't post even on a blog that is anonymous.
What else did I find? Enough to know that I would save this phone forever--just for giggles. This time I will make sure to put the charger in the box before I bury it.
What if I do?
“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?” ~ Sex and the City
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For my first post I seem to be at a loss for what to write. And those that know me know that is usually not the case. Usually I seem to have to much to say! So today I am going to just run with the topic at hand....
What if I do? Is that not the eternal question between men and woman. I tend to ask myself this question almost every day. What if he calls? What if he doesn't? What if I go see him? What if, what if, what if!!! And the answer is never clear! My problem is usually I make the decision and then ask the what if's after the fact. Like what if I had said yes? Would it have changed anything?
Life is full of questions and the answers seem to be few and far between. Is it perhaps that I am looking for answers in all the wrong places? And if so how do I get a road map to the right places?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For my first post I seem to be at a loss for what to write. And those that know me know that is usually not the case. Usually I seem to have to much to say! So today I am going to just run with the topic at hand....
What if I do? Is that not the eternal question between men and woman. I tend to ask myself this question almost every day. What if he calls? What if he doesn't? What if I go see him? What if, what if, what if!!! And the answer is never clear! My problem is usually I make the decision and then ask the what if's after the fact. Like what if I had said yes? Would it have changed anything?
Life is full of questions and the answers seem to be few and far between. Is it perhaps that I am looking for answers in all the wrong places? And if so how do I get a road map to the right places?
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Better As A Memory Than As 'My' Man?
So... I think Mindy had it right when she said "What if I do will he love me more? What if I don't will he walk out the door?"
Well, honestly I don't think either is a real possibility--somwhere in the middle. I mean, come on now, they (men or whatever choice name you are using for them today) hold you by a rope--and sometimes they try to make you hang yourself with it. Yes, they don't do the honor for you--they want you to do it yourself so even in their absolutely heartless soul they won't feel bad about it because "she did it to herself."
So I have this 'friend' who more than once has said to me "Better As A Memory Than As Your Man" is his song. Mind you, once was definatly not at a time you want to hear that. You start thinking, "where is my bra?" Anyways, what is he trying to do? I mean when you say that to a friend it is one thing... when it is someone you are intimate with and being intimate with at that moment, it has a different meaning. What do I think it means? Yeah, it means that "I want to do this and I am going to lead you on now and in the future so ... I think I'm doing a good thing by telling you up this front but in about five minutes I am going to be screaming your name."
Come on now! Really!?! I know, reading too much into it. But isn't that what a woman is supposed to do? REALLY! Just hope for the best--that one day he will grow up to be a big boy and perhaps think about what he is saying before he says it. Or is that the problem, he is thinking about it and he's thinking that the best thing he can do is play the game and not care who he hurts in the process. Oh well--we, as women, will never know.
Well, honestly I don't think either is a real possibility--somwhere in the middle. I mean, come on now, they (men or whatever choice name you are using for them today) hold you by a rope--and sometimes they try to make you hang yourself with it. Yes, they don't do the honor for you--they want you to do it yourself so even in their absolutely heartless soul they won't feel bad about it because "she did it to herself."
So I have this 'friend' who more than once has said to me "Better As A Memory Than As Your Man" is his song. Mind you, once was definatly not at a time you want to hear that. You start thinking, "where is my bra?" Anyways, what is he trying to do? I mean when you say that to a friend it is one thing... when it is someone you are intimate with and being intimate with at that moment, it has a different meaning. What do I think it means? Yeah, it means that "I want to do this and I am going to lead you on now and in the future so ... I think I'm doing a good thing by telling you up this front but in about five minutes I am going to be screaming your name."
Come on now! Really!?! I know, reading too much into it. But isn't that what a woman is supposed to do? REALLY! Just hope for the best--that one day he will grow up to be a big boy and perhaps think about what he is saying before he says it. Or is that the problem, he is thinking about it and he's thinking that the best thing he can do is play the game and not care who he hurts in the process. Oh well--we, as women, will never know.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)