Keepin' it down on the low key

I've not sat down and written in forever. I just don't have time anymore. I feel like I can't get a breath, much less sleep.

Work is insane and very long. I work long hours, do too many projects yet I still don't know if I actually get to keep my job. Today is the last day that they are going to be accepting applications for the position. I guess I will see what they decide to do. I asked for $38,000 which is really pennies for what I do but it is $10,000 more than what I make now. It would help so much, if people only knew. Oh well, I don't even know when they will make a decision.

So what else has been going on? Not too much. Just work. I was sick for quite some time. I wish I had some quirky story to tell--but the way I see things are very different from the way others seem to see them lately.

I am tired of the BS; make a decision and deal with it. Don't change my plans because they don't suit you. I don't do friendships that way. I give a lot more than I should many times and at this point in my life I'm done with that. I want to be respected and for people to understand that sometimes I want it my way not theirs. -that felt good.

I guess I'm just too nice to tell people what I really think. Though honestly, I would have a few friends less if I did because people don't expect me to tell them 'how it is.' I'm always supposed to be the funny fun loving one. Yup, those days are gone. In their place is responsibility and an "I'm doing things my own damn way even if I have to do them alone' attitude.

Yes, alone. Screw it. I am anyways.