I'm lost in the dark going in circles. At least that is what my life feels like at the moment. If this were a ride this would be the point I would get off and make a mad dash for the bathroom while pressing my hand over my mouth hoping that will help keep my lunch down. When did we grow up and life became so complicated? As I sit here typing I feel overwhelmed and lightheaded. Where did I go wrong? Never mind I know where I went wrong, I know the exact date. But everything happens for a reason or at least that is what I've always been told. But when do we find out these reasons? Maybe it's my impatience but I'm ready to know now. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger and I have learned a lot about myself in the past months. I am a much stronger person than I ever thought I was or could be. I have my weak moments but they are starting to become fewer and farer in between. Past relationships have left a bitter taste behind one that will hopefully also fade with time. I used to think if I could do it again I'd do it all the same, but that's
lie. A lie I guess I tell myself so that I can better live with the decisions I have made. Some things I would do the same but about the last 9 years of my life I would have done a lot of things differently. Am I wiser for the decisions I have made? Probably not but hopefully I have at least learned enough from them so that
I will not repeat them in the future. I will continue to walk the world with my head held high, and I will continue to hide behind my fake 'everything is all right' smile. I will take the lemons life has handed me and call Vivi, who I know has vodka, and take
shots to dull the pain of life. I feel so negative when I am usually so positive. And I do have so many things to be positive and thankful for. And number one on that list is great, make that wonderful, family and friends. I don't just have 1 best friend, I have 5. I couldn't make it without them. I love them as if they were my sisters, hell they are my sisters. And even though I may feel as if I'm wondering lost. I know they will be right there with me to help me find my way. They may laugh if I trip in the dark and fall down, while screaming profanities, but I know they will help me up. They will help me to be strong when I forget how to be. Together we will face our demons, together we can take anything life throws at us. These girls will always come first in my life. Some people may not understand that. But that's ok. They obviously don't have as good of friends as I do. If they did they would understand that in a constantly changing world our love for one another never changes. They are my rock. That is why they will always come first. Cause at the end of the day
I know we will always be there for one another. No matter the distance in between and no matter where life takes us. We will always find our way back to each other.
I'm lost in the dark going in circles. At least that is what my life feels like at the moment. If this were a ride this would be the point I would get off and make a mad dash for the bathroom while pressing my hand over my mouth hoping that will help keep my lunch down. When did we grow up and life became so complicated? As I sit here typing I feel overwhelmed and lightheaded. Where did I go wrong? Never mind I know where I went wrong, I know the exact date. But everything happens for a reason or at least that is what I've always been told. But when do we find out these reasons? Maybe it's my impatience but I'm ready to know now. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger and I have learned a lot about myself in the past months. I am a much stronger person than I ever thought I was or could be. I have my weak moments but they are starting to become fewer and farer in between. Past relationships have left a bitter taste behind one that will hopefully also fade with time. I used to think if I could do it again I'd do it all the same, but that's 
lie. A lie I guess I tell myself so that I can better live with the decisions I have made. Some things I would do the same but about the last 9 years of my life I would have done a lot of things differently. Am I wiser for the decisions I have made? Probably not but hopefully I have at least learned enough from them so that
I will not repeat them in the future. I will continue to walk the world with my head held high, and I will continue to hide behind my fake 'everything is all right' smile. I will take the lemons life has handed me and call Vivi, who I know has vodka, and take 
shots to dull the pain of life. I feel so negative when I am usually so positive. And I do have so many things to be positive and thankful for. And number one on that list is great, make that wonderful, family and friends. I don't just have 1 best friend, I have 5. I couldn't make it without them. I love them as if they were my sisters, hell they are my sisters. And even though I may feel as if I'm wondering lost. I know they will be right there with me to help me find my way. They may laugh if I trip in the dark and fall down, while screaming profanities, but I know they will help me up. They will help me to be strong when I forget how to be. Together we will face our demons, together we can take anything life throws at us. These girls will always come first in my life. Some people may not understand that. But that's ok. They obviously don't have as good of friends as I do. If they did they would understand that in a constantly changing world our love for one another never changes. They are my rock. That is why they will always come first. Cause at the end of the day 
I know we will always be there for one another. No matter the distance in between and no matter where life takes us. We will always find our way back to each other. 
1 comment:
Hell yes I will have the Vodka! Right now I seem to have a mass abundance of Crown too! ;) Great stuff I'm telling ya! And I love you--we can all face anything together! ~Happy Birthday~
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