So as I thought, I work all the time. This new job is beginning to get to me. Everyone says I look tired, my friends swear I've abandoned them and I don't even care what a single person thinks anymore. Tough.
I work all the time but to get where I want to be in life (self sufficient and happy) I have to. I have come to understand that I'm not meant to be in a relationship for any length of time so I might as well work. It makes it easier to realize that I'm not the girl to be desired. I'll have my meetings and charge my strawberry shortcake to the office thank you very much.
When I get home I just want to sleep. I don't care how much fun I could have on a weekend--why does it matter? It isn't like it matters that I'm not doing anything. Life goes on, I've learned that the hard way. People have their own lives and their own happiness's and I'm not putting on the 'I'm so excited for you' face any more. The people I love know it and that's all that matters. I'm over the fake all about me friendships, I don't need them anyways.
I want mature people in my life. I don't have time for the bs anymore. I've got a career and a life. I'm sorry. I've got to do what is best for me right now and that is sleep. I'm always expected to be happy go lucky. I'm not, nothing's wrong, just being me. I can't hide me anymore.
I've learned that we grow up and grow apart. There's nothing I can do about that. I may not be getting married or having kids but I should be respected. My life is important too and if I choose to be alone in it or not go to an event then I'm sorry. I'm doing what's best for me and putting myself through emotional hell is not my idea of a good time. I'm done with emotional hell, I lived for everyone else and took care of them for so long that I can't do it any more. I'm moving on.
2 comments:
I'm not really sure what to say. I agree you need to do whats best for you. And as always I will support you in whatever it is you want to do. That said I really do miss you and our friendship and I hope I am not one of those friends you wish to give up on.... I know our lives have went seperate ways this year cause I got back into Barrel Racing. That does not mean that I want to lose you as a friend though. I really do miss you. If there is anything I can do or anything you need let me know.... you know between your beauty sleep lol Love ya!
Hi, I just read your blog and it looks like something I have written two months ago, right down to a T. Im 22 and I lost my mother in Dec. She was a single parent so I forced to grow up. My life changed in every way. I suddenly didn't care about parties, because I needed to file for health insurance. People who didn't value the life they were given, were people I couldn't stand to be around. A lot of my friends seemed immature to me. A lot of me and my friends drifted apart. It hurt at first, but I realized the same thing you did, that I had to move on and do what was best for me. I wish you the best of luck. And still can't believe someone feels the same way I do. Thanks:)
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