So, have you ever had a dream that seemed all to real? I did last night. Let me share.The dream begins where one left off a few weeks ago. In that dream it was very strange, I was at a party with all of my friends from E's hometown. It was someone's engagement party but I couldn't figure out whose it was. EVERYONE was getting along great; when I woke up this was an issue because having all of those people together would be like oil and vinegar. So, in this dream is is summer. We are all just hanging out by the lake having a great time. Later that evening there is a bonfire at a friends house and a pool. It is strange. Exs are there, but we are all laughing like nothing was ever wrong. Don Juan is there, we are talking and laughing. E's ex is there and they are getting along. Vixen, Blondie, Giggles. They are all there with there ex's not far away. It was just strange. We ate, swam... made smores. Needless to say I woke up wondering what I had drank the night before to make me have such a weird, strange, unbelievable dream.
So last night I go to
bed after half a bottle of wine and dream. I dream that I am in this wedding dress trying to figure out 1-why my maid of honor isn't making me wake up and run and 2- how the hell am I going to use the bathroom before I walk down the aisle. So I finally use the restroom and come out into this cabin type atmosphere where all of my friends are. ALL of them are there. Ones from my hometown, E's, up north... that part was great. I hear a little winning and I look at the beautiful little girl looking up at me with her arms outreached. She looks to be about six months old. She is beautiful, baby blue eyes, peachy skin and the most adorable smile- her father's. I pick her up and proceed to talk to Vixen who is begging me to hand the little girl off as I won't get anything on my dress. I refuse because I want to hold her forever. As the time gets closer I walk through the reception area to where I am going to go outdoors to get married. At this point I still didn't know who I was going to be marrying. I give my daughter to E and wait to walk out of the doors. I watch E, Colby and Vixen walk in front of me, then I hear the music. It's my turn. Now, it isn't Vivaldi or anything typical. Oh no, apparently I do everything a bit differently. I am walking down the aisle to 'Just The Way You Are.' I suddenly look up and see him looking back at me, my heart races, I want to run. I keep thinking that he loves my little girl and that he can take care of us. For some reason I continue to reason with myself and think things such as, the sex is good, he's good to her, he makes good money, my house is nice. I talk myself into it. Wait, I am taking the arm of my daughter's father. Oh shit, he is walking me dow
n the aisle? I am a complete crazy woman. Fine, we walk down the aisle together. Don Juan, the person giving me away, does what the pastor says. He 'gives me' to this man. What? Yes, you're reading right. I look to E who is holding my baby, she is smiling at me. Laughing silently it looks like. Vixen is smiling, she whispers that it will be okay. Fine. Maybe. I turn back to my future husband. He looks so happy. How could I run? I imagine kicking off my heals and hauling ass. Fine, I'll do it.The dream skips.
It is the reception. I am dancing with everyone. Everyone's exes it looks like. It was good though, I was happy. I keep an eye on my little girl in my husband's arm as he twirls her around the dance floor. He really looks like he loves her. For that reason I justify I love him. The girls kidnap me for a moment, time to get ready to go. I begin to cry. They tell me to suck it up. I laugh and do as I'm told. This time I make all of them help me use the restroom. I tell Blondie this is payback. Colby is laughing at all of us because she doesn't know anyone that well. She walks out and comes back with my little girl. She is falling asleep. I take her and hold her, telling her it will all be okay. My husband comes in and states that it is time to go. I try to h
ide the tears as we walk towards the door, my child still in my arms. As we get to the door, her father is standing there waiting to take her from me. I cry more noticeably. My husband gently takes her out of my arms and assures me that in two weeks she will be back in my arms. It about kills me. I had her to Don Juan and threaten his life. I distinctly remember telling him that no 'white trash hussies' are to be near my daughter. I look over to Blondie and tell her to make sure there are none. She laughs and pinky swears. My husband smiles at me as he wipes my tears with his thumbs. "I love you." he says as he takes my hand and we run through millions of rose petals towards the limo waiting for us in the drive.So, yes. Someone save me from that! I was about to freak out when I woke up from that one. First, I never thought I would wear white. Secondly, a baby? With Don Juan? Who did I marry you ask. Someone I don't think I've ever mentioned in this blog... I will call him Jack. So is this my fate? I think I just need to lay off the red wine.
