Held

Sometimes I feel like it's never enough. I work, receive awards for community service but it's never enough. I'm so lonley that I can't stand it. When I think about someone i've lost along the way i have no one to tell me that it's going to be okay. There is never a person to say they care or to share my goals or excitment with. Im so tired of it all. I've given up everything to have the career and the awards but i have nothing to show for it. Therein is no one to come home to, no one to dry my tears. Friends are only that, they live their own lives and have no idea of the person i've become.

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tired

Is it time to make that change? if so how? is it a good thing to just jump in? i'm tired physically and mentally exhausted. it's time to follow dreams and be done. i'm tired of wondering who i will hurt because they've never worried about hurting me.

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So close, yet so far away...

As anyone who might actually read this knows - I'm not good at posting items on a regular basis. My life seems to be a gigantic work related mess. Yes, I'm one of those people whose job takes over their lives and they never see daylight.

I am less than a week from a big festival that I produce and have a ton going on. Though this is our second year, it is still a little crazy. My patience is gone and if I want something done I want it done three days ago. Yes, I know what you are thinking - you don't want to work for me? Ah, I'm easy just don't talk back and do your job.

Now, fun? What have I done lately? A girlfriend and I did a Florida trip for Labor Day and had a ball. It was great to recoop and just feel like I'd rested. It's also great to get all dressed up just to go to dinner! LOVE IT! I also seem to be going out on Thursday nights after my festival meetings. These nights make my weeks! It's a lot of fun, I love my committee chairs (we keep joking that we may not love each other when this is over one week from today!).

Last night I actually attended a bachelor auction. It was a hoot! I just loved having a good time for a great cause (kids) and seeing some attractive men! Now, with that being said - no I didn't bid. Even though it is a tax writeoff I have several big things coming up that I can't waste money for. Though, I am going to figure out who the hot Coast Guard guy was, the fact that he has an 8 year old scares me a bit--but hey, why not?

I did meet an attractive guy while doing a tv show in the middle of NOWHERE on Friday. Might work on that, might want to google him first. He's in a band--that can tell a girl a lot about someone! I seem to be in that industry part of the year and know better!

FYI - how does this always end up about men?

Honestly there are none. One guy that I've been talking to for over a year said he wanted to come to the festival. I told him no. I'll be working, we've only met once and he lives on the other end of the state... not going there at this point and won't have to.

After the crazy event is over my next adventure is a concert at a casino. YES! Just have to perfect the perfect outfit!

I was going to do something big for my birthday but it's at Christmas so I'm going to cancel that and just maybe do a spa day. Sounds better anyways... ;)

Well, no funny stories to tell unless you count the fact that we did a woman-less beauty pageant at work the other day and a friend borrowed one of my hot dresses and won! It was great fun! (I seem to get sucked into doing fundraisers all the time!)

Once the craziness of the festival is over I'll try to recap, pray for sunshine next weekend... I need my job! My new car and lasik eye surgery depend on it!

Wedding Two of the year.

Yes, it has been FOREVER since I have written on here but E has convinced me that I need to get back at it.  What better to do that than to write about the wedding festivities for friends that have been going on during the past three months?

First let me let you know where I am in my life.  I’m still single, living in my hometown, working a lot, and generally bored with everything.

First it was Giggles’ wedding.  I was supposed to go over on Friday night so that I could be there to take photographs at the rehearsal, so didn’t happen.  I went to bed that Tuesday night feeling like a big bag of poo.  I was so sick that I didn’t really want to go to work the next day, but I survived it. Wednesday was rough and I was just tired, that night I got REALLY sick.  My back and head were killing me!  I woke up on Thursday and HAD to work as I had an important meeting.  During the meeting my fever broke.  S.W.E.A.T.  To the point that in thirty minutes it had SOAKED through my sweater and it looked like my boobs were leaking, seriously – and they’re real.  UGH!  I yanked my hair up in a clip and survived but I looked horrible! I went home and went to bed, FREEZING.  Without telling you the gruesome details I will just say that this pattern lasted until Friday night. 

Saturday morning I got up and took care of finding something to eat, as I hadn’t ate in days, finally drank a soda and survived.  I decided to suck it up and head East to see Giggles get married.  Can I tell you that I went through 4 states to get there?  That is big in the South.  I’m talking to a guy that lives in that general area and decided that if it took me that long to get there and over that many mountains maybe it isn’t even worth it.  UGH!  I made it to the wedding right as they were getting ready to walk down the aisle.

Wedding is short and sweet, beautiful setting.  On we go to the reception where there is an open bar for two hours.  Sick or not, it was time for a beer.  One turned into ten and then it was time to hit up the dance floor, so we did!  It was a lot of fun.  Time for the reception to end—okay, time for more fun!  I stayed with our wonderful gay guy friends and had a ball.  CK decided to go to bed while Greg and I decided to party it up.  Well, that was our original thought, we ended up having a heart to heart on the dock then walking to the bar next door only to find 1-it was closing, 2- I didn’t have my ID and 3- we didn’t have to walk on the road, there was a bridge.  After coming back to the hotel my bartender friend had gotten off work and the girl was working.  CRAP, 1-I’m straight, 2-Greg’s gay.  “Do you have your ID?”  “No.” “Go get it.” UGH!  So I woke CK up and ran into the grooms brother and sister, both in their late 30’s early 40’s banging on the bridal suite, ‘WE NEED CIGARETTES.’ 

Finally the bride and groom give up and come join us at the bar—gotta love that!

Wedding two – HOT.  More info coming soon…